The Planner in Me

I am a planer. I have a need to know what I am doing and how it will be accomplished. I need to have something to look forward to; something that pushes me to press on in each day. I like having everything planed out in the calendar in my head. All events and hopes for future stored in my colourful calendar of kittens and landmarks. I am a planer but the dates of my calender have been ripped off the pages. The kittens meow from their pictures to the blank page below them. The waterfalls cleans the page of dates to an eerie white, with no margins, squares or lines.
This year I have fought against the unknown, wrestled with opportunity, and struggled with events. This year was not planned on my calendar. I did not plan for my mother to have surgery to have a tumor removed. I did not plan for my first of day of school to be August 17th. I did not write in the notes section of my calendar "make new friends."
I never imagined that I would spend the entirety of my 11th grade year in Oklahoma. I did not plan for the opportunities God would use me in and the blessing from Him I would receive. But God sent them to me anyway. This year my calendar has been full of surprises. I have been surprised by friendships and love from people I least expected it from. I have been surprised with opportunities to grow and learn as an artist. I have been surprised by God. God has ripped up the security of my calendar, and left me to rely on his perfect timing. I am still a planner. I always will be. Only now I try to leave dates blank, open to see what God will do with them.